Hmmm...This few day mood just seem to be like up and down for no reason. Ever since that day everything just dont seem to go any way. Some sort of lost touch with Sara, cos it seem that he still cant get over her ex GF. And than we stop texting and think he should have forget what we text before already. Maybe that really is all guys would do one. Should really get use to back to the day where I dont text him or any and see how it goes. But I would really wish that we could get back to the way like how we text. Cos texting him is so fun, just as a friend will do. Wont really wish much any more since we two is also impossible to be together. We are just from two difference world. And for now a days, working is just so stress. So many crop up, all due to baggage thing. Now every one goes to work with a heavy heart. Every one is just so afraid that suddenly that any one would just say there got a baggage issue again. Now working is like a risk. Whatever we do, we just need to double check and double check again and again. Just to prevent from anything to happen again. It is just not like how. Who is able to work under this kind of stress like that?!?!?! My life now is like just so lost now. Really dont know should I head. Cant even think of what should I do and what type of job should look for after that. Wondering who is able to lend a  helping hand out and guide me along the way or maybe just give me a bit of hint of what should I do?

It like finally i get to have the freaking time to sit down alone somewhere, listening to music and write my blog.

"Sometime it is better to be alone, because it give you time to be who you are"

To be frank, it been like a year or so I have been like this "single" life. Although there still many up and down, but I still mange to survive it. Work life is still as usual like how it use or should be "suck". But i this world where is there on earth an job that is not "suck" at all!?!?! This is call life. Family? Not to say anything. Getting more and more disappointed with it. Ever since uncle and grandpa pass away everything seem to change a lot. Now this whole family seem like going to become two family just because of one refrigerator. Wonder how long everything can last or at least change back to how it was use to be? But I don't even think that would even going to be happening at all. What more that my grandma is so bias now. Me and my brother also her grandchild but in her eye only got the other 4 which is much more better than us. What to do? She is still our grandma. Love life??? Still single like how I want it to be. Although there some that really touch me, but to me that feeling is like just last for that blink of time. It was when time pass, suddenly the feeling is just like gone. But that is like when I found out something regarding them. Why do nowadays guy just can't prove that they are not untrustworthy or maybe "playful"? It seem to be o how for them. Like just so recently, Jessica just broke off with her boy due to some reason and what more he is not truth at all time too. When I heard about that news, it make me even more scare of it. Cos recently get to contact a guy working under CX engineering. He is a Malaysia Penang Indian guy. He is very irradiating , but no matter how irradiating he is, I would always smile or laugh at his msg. And no matter how angry I am with him, once he try to text me again when I did not reply his msg, I would always jsut cant bare to not reply his msg. Every day once he woke up, he will just text me till when I goes to bed. Sometime when we have nothing to say, we would just spam the msg with emoji. And that is both of us. But the no no no thing is that, he is a India from Malaysia and heard from Emma regarding him and Mimi thing, which make me retreat even more back from him. Although we both now also start to meet each other and go out and getting a bit more close, but I still don't know what is he thinking.  He get me really very interested in him, but I am just so afraid that the more interested, the more disappointment I will get. I really in sure a lost mode now. I really freaking relly don't know what I should do. Or should I just goes with the flow as how it should be. Just like the quotes"What it meat to be yours is yours. What it not meat to be yours it will be yours."